Building and Maintaining a Successful Business Is a lot like Being In Love…
What does it take to build and maintain a successful business?
Does it take talent? A Business Degree? The Perfect Business Plan? Relentless Hard Work?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject lately – especially since I’ve just spent 7 days in Bali, Indonesia for my Mastermind Retreat with my amazing clients from 5 different countries and 4 different industries.
While in Bali, I’ve had a front row seat into what makes people successful and what holds them back. It has been enlightening!
You know what I’ve noticed? I’ve discovered a great similarity between building a successful business and being in love. Yes, you read that right. I said being in love. So, today I’m going to take you on a journey of LOVE. I want to explore the many parallels in building a business and being in love.
We’re going to take a close look at what causes one to be in love, what love really is – and what it’s not – and how to grow and maintain it. I believe after taking this journey of love, you’ll have a blueprint for building and maintaining the business and the life of your dreams.
Let’s begin with a fundamental truth:
The one core ingredient needed to build and maintain a successful business is that you are IN LOVE with your business and the dream you have for it.
How do you know when it’s love?
I recognize five stages to being in love. The first stage is CHEMISTRY!
Stage 1: Chemistry
You can’t explain chemistry. You can’t manifest it. You can’t force it. It just is. You’re drawn to that person. Chemistry is like a Supernatural force that magnetizes you and pulls you in.
Chemistry is the initial ingredient to being in love and it is the first step in building your business. Answer the following questions to identify the chemistry in your business…
1. Are you drawn to your career by an unexplainable, powerful, magnetic force?
2. Did your career just kind of “find you”?
3. Does your business fulfill you in ways nothing else can?
4. Do you believe you are fulfilling your life purpose through your career?
5. Do you find fulfillment in this career that extends beyond the monetary?
If you answered these questions in the affirmative, you’re on the right track. Chemistry will attract you to your soul mate and your soul career. Chemistry is the first step in building your successful career and dream life!
If you’ve got chemistry, you are on the right track!
Don’t be afraid of that chemistry. It is a must! However, be relentless in identifying the difference between love and lust within that chemistry.
Lust is a craving or a need. It’s a “one night stand.” Lust never goes beyond the chemistry. It dies out. But love goes beyond a craving or a need. And love evolves. Love moves you to the next stage…
Stage #2: Consistent Preoccupation
Remember when you first fell in love? Think back to when you first met your spouse or your life partner. Remember how you found yourself thinking of that person all the time! You’d wake up in the morning and think of them. You’d go to school or work and think of them. You’d find yourself thinking about their safety even before you’d think about your own. Your thoughts went something like this:
“I wonder what she’s doing today. I wonder how she got to work this morning. I wonder if her car started okay. I’m ‘gunna call her and see how she is.” Or, “I’ll just text her to say good morning!”
These thoughts of preoccupation might surely have been the first “self-less” thoughts of your life! You couldn’t help yourself. Your mind just thought about that person constantly.
This is the second stage of being in love and a much-needed stage for building a successful business. You don’t even have to try to think about your business. You just do – all the time! You’re in love with the concept. You’re consumed with the idea. It’s a consistent preoccupation! You’re passionate about it!
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Lisa, it sounds like you’re telling me to be out of balance.”
Yes, I am – for a season. I believe you need to be out of balance at times to create a momentum and find balance within that momentum. This stage of complete and incredible PASSION is temporary but vital to the process of falling in love (and building a successful business.)
A rocket ship uses 80 percent of its fuel at take-off! The 20 percent of its fuel that’s left is used for the entire journey and the return! (That’s the power of momentum!)
It takes a lot of fuel, love, energy to launch a successful business. But, the beauty is, if you Love your career, the energy is just there!
When I first launched my career, nearly 17 years ago, I was totally consumed with it. It was all I thought about, talked about, dreamed about. It was a constant preoccupation. I stayed up late and got up early… and it was pure joy!
It’s the same experience with being in Love. You’ll talk on the phone until 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning and get up at 6:00am to go work out!
You have a supernatural amount of energy! That’s what being in love will give you. So, enjoy Stage 2 and allow yourself to be totally preoccupied ~ for a season.
Please realize, it takes this kind of intense and consistent preoccupation (and the memories that get imbedded in your brain) to build the bridge for the next stages of being in love and maintaining that love.
Stage #3: Willingness to do the Outrageous!
Chemistry draws you to a person. Consistent preoccupation leads you to passion. Passion gives you the desire and the fuel to do the outrageous. And, it’s the same with your business…
Again, think back when you first fell in love. You did crazy things. You were bold. You found untapped courage in you that you didn’t even know was there! You did things with and for that person that you’ve never done before. And doing these things was not a burden. Doing things for and with that person brought you pleasure!
I’m not talking about sacrificing your happiness for another. When you’re in love you are willing to do things you’ve never done before – and you find great joy and fulfillment in doing it. You do them because they bring you pleasure.
It’s the same scenario when you’re in love with your business. It’s not a sacrifice to make cold calls. You can’t wait to pick up the phone and share your great product with someone. It’s not a burden to give opportunity presentations. You can’t wait to tell others about what you’ve got! It doesn’t drain you to learn and practice your craft. You’re learning about something that you love. It is a pleasure to ‘work hard’ because you’re in love!
When I came up with my business idea of Mastermind Retreats I fell in love! There was a chemistry there that was beyond powerful. I thought about these Retreats ALL THE TIME! I talked about the multitude of exotic cities I would have these Mastermind Retreats in. I was “IN” and totally consumed with the idea… I chose Paris, France as my first destination. And then, I did the outrageous!
All this chemistry and preoccupation led me to a BOLD act. I bought an airline ticket to Paris for the weekend. I spent 3 delicious days in Paris putting the Mastermind Retreat together. I booked the hotel rooms, reserved the meeting space, chose the exotic excursions, bought some of the gifts my clients would receive each night…
I put $15,000 US on my credit card that weekend and flew home on Monday with the entire Mastermind Retreat booked and ready to go. There was only one missing piece… Clients!
Not only did I not have any clients. I didn’t have a any brochures, business cards, website or any marketing materials to tell people about my new business! But, I had something even more powerful than marketing. Can you guess what that was?
DESIRE! (Chemistry)
I had desire, coupled with a vision that fueled my actions and gave me the energy to do everything (or attract the people who would do it for me) that needed to be done to create success with my Mastermind Retreats.
Within one week of returning from that Paris weekend, I bought another airline ticket. I took myself to New York City for a weekend to write the marketing letter and craft the strategic plan. (Can you tell I get inspired by amazing cities?!)
Within two weeks I had a website with my marketing letter, pictures of the Paris Mastermind, investment schedule and the on, so important, “click here to register” button. I shared the Paris Mastermind Retreat in every speech, radio interview, conference call, every article I wrote and in every conversation I had.
Then, the phone rang…
I heard a voice say, “This is Lilja Prieur and I just read your book, “Conquer Fear!”. I’m from Namibia and am calling to find out if you take on International Coaching Clients.” I replied, “Yes, I do. Tell me about yourself.” To which she responded, “I was born in Namibia, Africa and now I live in Paris, France.”
Wow! That phone call was such a confirmation that I was on the right track! That all of my love, chemistry, constant preoccupation and outrageous actions were worth it!
Lilja registered for the Paris Mastermind Retreat and has been to 7 of the 11 Mastermind Retreats since then.
These “gifts of confirmation” will happen to you, too when you step outside your comfort zone and are willing to be BOLD, daring, outrageous and even unreasonable with your actions!
Boldness Gets Rewarded.
Stage 3: Willingness to do the outrageous, is such an important step in the process because it “changes you”
These bold and unreasonable actions transform your self-image. They change your mind and transform your heart. It’s like a deflated balloon that is finally being filled up with oxygen. It can expand and alter its shape. AND, that is exactly what it is meant to do.
Falling in love with your business (or your soul mate) will change you. It will alter and shape you for the better. You’ll discover qualities in you that will touch, move and inspire you! So, let it! Be wild, bold and ostentatious with your actions, your conversations and yourself!
What WILD action step are you willing to do today to grow your business? Boldness Gets Rewarded!
What are you willing to give up that is not serving you in your love of building your business?
What are you willing to learn to grow your love?
When you’re in love, you’ll do things that you never thought you would. You will surprise yourself. And these things are not burdens or sacrifice. You do them because doing them brings you joy.
Stages to being in love:
1. Chemistry
2. Consistent Preoccupation
3. Willingness to do the Outrageous
Falling in love is an experience matched by no other! Chemistry draws you to a person or a career, which leads you to consistent preoccupation, which leads to a willingness to do some outrageous things – things you never thought you’d do, which leads you to…
STOP right now!
You are about to enter Stage 4 in this cycle of love. And there is only one question that needs to be asked at this time… And it is this: “What am I doing?” or better yet…
“Dear God, what the hell am I doing?!”
This is a normal (and needed) question to ask at this time because the natural flow to falling in love is about to get… serious.
You are about to take falling in love to a higher lever and transform it into being in love…
Stage #4: Desire to Make a Commitment
You’re “IN”
The best marital advice I ever received came from Dr. Gary Smalley. He said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.”
Read that statement again.
This advice applies to building your business as well. Making a commitment to your business is a two part process: First, you need to count the costs. You need to make sure this is the “one” for you (keep your eyes wide open.) and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it succeed.
Second, after making a commitment you need to ignore the annoyances and inconveniences that inevitably come with every business venture (keep your eyes half shut.) This is the type of commitment that will empower you to never give up!
There were lots of times in launching my Mastermind Retreats that I wanted to quit. I thought it was just too big of a project and gave myself lots of realistic data… But I had already gone to Stage 4 and I was “IN”. The commitment was made and that was all I focused on.
I had made a promise to myself. And that was enough.
What about you?
Are you ready to make a commitment to your business? To your love interest?
Making a commitment is a vow. There is no other option other than total and complete devotion.
I know many people today laugh at taking commitment this seriously. But look at the attrition rate in Direct Sales and Network Marketing; the divorce rate; the amount of small businesses that fail. Look at the increased rate of troubled children who have been forgotten.
What causes this?
Here’s the bottom line: It is guaranteed that every person in a marriage will at one time want out. It is guaranteed that every person in business will at one point want to quit. The ONLY type of commitment that can withstand these gusts of turmoil and uncertainty is a rock solid vow. A promise you make to YOURSELF!
Look at the people who do take their commitments like a vow. These are the rare few who make up the top 3% of company compensation plans. These are the few who experience relationships for life. These are the few who walk through the shadow of hell with their troubled teen (or stop it before it gets that far) because they view their commitment as a vow and they will do whatever it takes to make it work!
I remember when my son, Beau was showing interest in some seriously bad things. One day I took him to lunch, sat him down and said, “I don’t care how far down this dark road you go. I will follow you. I don’t care how long it takes for you to stop this behavior. I will pursue you. I will be a relentless force who will NEVER give up on you. I know who you really are and I will never tire of taking a stand for your greatness because you are worth it and I love you that much.”
Well, after he stopped shaking (just kidding) he sat there processing everything I said. And after several seconds he slowly began to nod his head, smile at me, and say, “Thanks, Mom.”
I can’t impress upon you enough how vital it is to make your commitments as a vow. If you are creating big things, you will inevitably face big challenge. You must have the solid conviction of your commitment to face and transform those challenges, be willing to do whatever it takes to win, and never give up.
The ONLY type of commitment that can withstand these gusts of turmoil and uncertainty is a rock solid vow. A promise you make and keep to yourself because you have integrity. And THAT is who you are.
Have you made this type of commitment to your self, your dream, your business, your spouse, and your children? Do you want to?
Making a commitment that you view as a vow takes you from falling in love to being in love. It becomes a part of your very being.
The great promise that evolves from this is when commitment and devotion is a part of your very being it becomes natural! It’s just who you are. The internal struggle is over. You don’t even have to think about it. You are just committed, loyal, “in”… because you made a vow.
Being loyal is the climax and the ultimate goal. However, it is not the end of the story. And thinking it is can be one of the biggest reasons for unhealthy, loveless, passionless, boring relationships.
These four stages are actually a continuous cycle. They are a moving, circular cycle of every love story. The more times you move through the cycle, the deeper and stronger your love grows and the better you become.
Put this truth in a business context:
Stage #1: Chemistry
You find a company, a product, or a business idea that you love. You’re drawn to it with an incredible powerful force.
Stage #2: Consistent Occupation
You can’t get it out of your mind. You want it so badly! You eat, drink, and sleep this idea.
Stage #3: Willingness to do the Outrageous
You are bold, courageous and wild with your ideas, actions and follow-up! You risk and you love it!
Stage #4: Desire to Make a Commitment
You count the cost and decide to make a commitment. You’re willing to give it all you’ve got. You’re excited and so hopeful for your great future! You’re “IN”.
Inevitable setbacks and challenges come up. You don’t feel like being loyal to your commitment. You don’t feel like making cold calls. But you do it anyway. You don’t feel like giving an opportunity meeting. But you do it anyway. You make the effort fueled by discipline and the integrity of WHO YOU ARE in the vow you made.
The next thing you know, you’re feeling better. You break through that tough time. You begin to see results. You’re energized! You’re back to Stage 1.
You’re chemistry is hot and your passion rekindled!
You’ve started the whole cycle over again.
You’ll go through these four stages (the LOVE cycle) throughout your entire career and your entire marriage. And every time you go through it you become stronger.
What stage of the cycle are you in today with your business? What stage of the cycle are you in today with your spouse or life partner?
It’s all a journey, my friend… A journey to enjoy and play FULL out in!
This Continuous Cycle of Love is a blueprint for building a healthy, passion-filled, successful business and marriage. I trust you will apply it to the loves of your life and let it grow you into the person you were always meant to be.
Rich in the spiritual. Rich in the material. Rich in character. Rich in love.
If you are interested in experiencing one of my LIVE events or participating in my Coaching Program and Mastermind Retreats, check out my schedule and get yourself registered. I promise you, it will be the ride of your life!
Live Events:
September 8th – 10th, 2011 in Newport Beach, California www.RealSavvySuccesss.com
“Crafting Your Vision” 21Ten Super Saturday on October 1st, 2011 in Tampa, Florida
QLCoaching Team 19 begins on October 25th, 2011 (6 Month Coaching Program)
Go to: www.Rx-Success.com
Tuscany Mastermind Retreat October 9th – 15th, 2011
Go to: www.RichLifeMastermindRetreat.com
Richest blessings,
LISA!
Lisa Jimenez M.Ed.
www.Rx-Success.com
